It is so unpredictable and the same time very predictable how things will turn.
Today all over again, I fell very week ‘cause of things that I let it happened and also with persons that I let hurt me repetitive and exhausting.
My hounds will not be cicatrized that´s I know for sure.
I know and recognised I´m very alone, I´ll always be left and the loneliness will keep me warm.
That´s such a clichê but also so true to me.
It´s quite ironic that the meaning of my name is the complete opposite to my life.
I´ve never felt loved, in fact, I feel like the most horrible person that I´ll ever be alived in this world and whatever planet, lifes’people can dream of. Nobody will bear love me. That´s what I´ve heard my hole life and now I accept this.
I´m so fucking tired of trying and only get hurter than I was.
This is never finishing – I wonder why.
I´m very glad that for some things I so freaky weak.
I should confess that I really worried myself ´cause I am not the person that I was or wanted to be and somewhere I´ve lost myself and I can´t find where I should be. Some terrible things had and has happened with me in my life that I hope someday I´ll be able to tell it out laud.
Until then my only wish is to survive and get completely over this.
So, reset please: I do need a start over!